Bitter

I have no sympathy for your family and friends. I want to, but NO ONE is dealing with more pain than me. Since you left me my world is all new. I don't live in the same house, I have all new acquaintances, no job, no school, none of my belongings NOTHING could me more unfamiliar as my life is now. How dare everyone? My life is not normal , no regulars, no routine, no one familiar, but my parents. And even then, I have been away from them for two years. I am dealing with the loss of not only my husband (who was my husband for a total of three months), every single other aspect of my life. Now  I have been widowed longer than we were married. It's not fair! I own nothing. I do nothing. I am nothing without you. All of my belong is fit in two suit cases. 

My days consist of sleeping, eating, cleaning, watching Netflix, and going on Pinterest. I wish that was an exaggerating. It's not. I am alone 95% of the time. Because my parents are too broke to not have to work 15 hour days. Stranded with now car, and no credit. Just come back! You didn't have to go. Come back and everything will be fixed.

 I think that's what makes me most angry. We decided that no matter what happened, Satan could do his word. Because we would have each other, we were each other's strength, together. Together we could do anything. Now I can do nothing without you, in fact I DO NOTHING! By now we would be saving up for a child, and medical school. Nothing could have prepared me for this. I would have never married you if I would have know this is how it would all end. But that's the miracle, isn't it? That now we have the blessings of being sealed. But I was promised that we would be bound together for eternity. How could you let Satan break those cords? How fast everything changed? Why didn't you think of me?  Do/Did you ever love me? Or was this your plot all along. How could you hate me so much, to want to torture me like this? What did I do?