Never fall in love again.

Why does everyone one around me leave? 

Is it because I don't know how to make true connections with people, and I feel more deeply for them then they do for me? 

I love so deeply, it hurts. It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply. 

Being deeply loved gives you strength. I feel like all the strength has been drained out of me. Yet, life still goes on. The worst part is, no one is very close to me to even know that anything is wrong. I guess that’s what true loneliness is.

You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about it’s width and depth.

I know now, today, more than ever, that you are truly gone. I will never see you again. I don’t know what do to. I miss every part of you, I cry, no one understands the way you do. I hate the fear that shoots into someone’s eyes when I tell them the things I told you on a daily basis. People can’t handle my life, but I don’t want them to. I can’t even handle my life. I just want someone to listen and understand. To know and to mourn with me. I don’t want my pain taken away, in fact I want to swim in it. No, not in a wallowing self pity. I want to feel it all, embrace it, because that’s they only way I know how to heal. To let it rush over me, fill every crevice and every ounce. I want to become with the pain. Slowly, the pain will drip out of me, with each tear, with each sob. Slowly I will drain. Then I know that I am no longer in slaved to hurt. That yes, it’s apart of me, but it’s mine. And it’s the only thing I have.

People try to take my pain away. Don’t take away apart of my soul. Don’t take away me.