WHY?

As I look back on the day my Pooh Bear died. I am angry and broken. I of course don't have all the pieces, but what from I know. I know he was fighting, and I just don't understand why everything we tried fell through, it's not fair. IT'S NOT JUST!

My husband dealt with depression his whole life, his depression never reached suicidal thoughts, until with 48 hours of his death. And when he started to have them, he took himself to the hospital. I called his psychologist and got him an appointment, but the appointment was too far off, so I called and made one for him with my psychologist for the next day. I was working 25 hours a week, and missing school for training, as well as apply for the bachelors program of social work with 16 hours a week in school. I got a cold, and of course I got Preston sick. THE WHOLE WORLD was combined against us. The day Preston took his life, he called his psychologist and 911. But his psychologist being a very busy man with a heavy work load was on his one week a year vacation, and he didn't answer. I just don't understand why every save guard was down. Why my efforts to fix the problem weren't good enough? 


 You should be here will me, you are suppose to be the one to be there 'for better or for worse.' WHY? Why me? I wasn't a major sinner, so I can't blame it on Karma (disclaimer: I am not perfect, neither do I try to portray my self in to be). Why do bad terrible things happen to good people? I don't know the answers, but I do know that my husband is no longer here. I know that the atonement covers all, but this kind of stuff happens to others. NOT ME!