Summer Sadness

It's July!
Do you remember last 4th we were able to spend all day together. We went up to my uncles with my whole family, and went to that poedunk parade. We had a BBQ and then watched the stadium of fire with my brother, sister and my mom. Then when we came back to Price the next day we did fireworks with your family and Celeste and Wyatt. Our favorites were the smoke bombs and the wizzers. What are you doing up there? Do you guys celebrate holidays? I have a hard time believing that all you do is work and no play. I don't think God's like that, and I know you aren't.
The 4th must have been on a Friday last year, because you had the whole day off. We left my grandparents in the morning the next day for you to get to work on time. I remember going to the hot air ballon festival with my mom and sister that morning while you slept. You were always so tired and I didn't know why. I hope you have the figured out now. I hope that you guys get to see the fireworks from heaven. I hope that they look even cooler from your high vantage point. I miss you always Preston. Sometimes I forget that I am a widow, and then someone reminds me or my brain comes back to reality. It's not that I forget about you, I just forget that you aren't just sitting right next to me as I talk.
I am going to be watching Truly, Madly, Deeply tonight. Remember when I showed that movie to you. That was the first time you held my hand. If I had only known. If I had known that God put that movie into my life to prepare me for the future, would I have walked a different path. I miss you so darn bad and I wish you were still here. You would think that Independence Day would be and easy holiday to be without you. It's not, because it's my favorite holiday.  I love the pancake breakfast in the morning. I love putting flowers on my veteran ancestor's graves. I love parades, my family has always brought the umph to parades. Wherever we go. I love corn on the cob, and lemonade at a BBQ. I loved sitting close to the one I loved while watching the night sky become ablaze. I love the smell of fireworks. I love the summer, with hot days and cool nights. I remember lighting bugs in jars and giggles of children free from school. I see hot days spent in pools and on grassy lawns, catching frogs and falling in love.
Summer use to be my favorite, now all it only brings sadness. A remembrance of what I once had. Anniversary tears. Family reunions with children and spouses (mine are in heaven). I miss you. I hope you know that it hurts...
I love you,

Your lonely hot (temperature) wife.

P.S. I am physically hot too, I am getting some abs. Just want you to know what you opted out of.